3 Funniest Husband Wife Jokes in English

We found the funniest husband wife jokes in English. The wife went shipping and missed it.  Husband was very confused. But I did not understand whether it was for the wife or for the car. Just start reading find what is that. 

Just because husband and wife jokes are obvious doesn’t mean they’re not hilarious. You can never get too much of a good thing, right? This blog is made up of only the funniest husband wife jokes in English. Take a look at these lively humor posts and all their related content on this site!


Husband Wife Jokes in English Language..

Husband   :   I lost my wife, she went shopping and hasn’t come back yet.

Inspector  :   What is her height?

Husband   :  I never checked .

Inspector  :  Slim or healthy?

Husband   :  Not slim, can be healty. 

Inspector  :  Colour of eyes? 

Husband   :  Never noticed.

Inspector  :  Colour of hair? 

Husband   : Change according to season.

Inspector : What was she wearing?  

Husband :  Not sure whether it was a dress or suit.  

Inspector : Was she driving? 

Husband  : Yes.

Inspector : Colour of car…………..? 

Husband:  A black Audi A8 with super-charged 3.0 liter V6 engine generating 333 horse power transmission in manual mode.  And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all  light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door……………………..and then the husband started crying……………….

Inspector :  Don’t worry sir…………. we will find your car.  


Question and Answer Jokes in English

Q: What’s the definition of a chicken?

A: The only animal you can eat and not feel guilty about it.

Q: What do husbands and pigs have in common?

A: Both always stay hard, no matter what you do with them!

Q: Which uses more electricity, a microwave or a dishwasher?

A: The microwave. At least you can turn off a dishwasher.

Q: If it takes 50 years to write a person’s biography, how long does it take to write the average marriage story?

A: All of them.

Funny Jokes in English….


A wife takes a little too much interest in her husband’s personal life and, when his business trip turns out to be over a week long, the wife tells the housekeeper to turn up for work twice a day. On the second day, she’s horrified to find that the housekeeper has actually brought her two nephews to help.


Wife Jokes 

Husband Jokes 

Jokes in English

Husband Wife Jokes in English

Husband and Wife Jokes in English

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